10 Tips on Treating Your Job Search Like Dating

Updated: Oct 15, 2020


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Dating and Job Search

When we date (which includes those in marriage) we show we value a person.  How many times have you worked in a place that was not a match for you? Some people think the employer holds all the cards.  Au contraire, it is a two-way street and the candidate should think in those terms.  Think about it, just like in our personal lives we want a meaningful relationship where we contribute and feel valued.


Most  people can identify with being in a job that was not the right fit.  Think hard, did you take the job because it was:


The first job you took when you graduated,

A temporary setback in life,

To make someone else happy,

A job that you needed -- not wanted,

Or the worst reason, you settled.


Yikes!  It is awful to feel like you wasted time in the relationship, were not valued, and merely used.  That’s why a job search should be treated more like a dating quest to find a great partner. Statistically, the average person will have two long-term relationships, two heartbreaks and a whole number of bad dates before they find “the one". Heartbreak city applies in the workplace also. Remember, you want to find an employer that challenges you, brings out the best of you, and allows you to learn from mistakes and grow.  


By treating the interview like a date you know you play a big part in determining your path. Here are ten dating tips that can be applied to the interview process.


1. Do your research!


People use the Internet to conduct due diligence through social channels on others we are attracted to, keep up with family, friends and troll the net.   Do the same on the employer. Check the company website, social feeds, Indeed reviews to get an idea about their content and what others post about the company. Angela Silak & Cindy Kaplan share “If you haven’t done any research beforehand, it’s usually quite obvious to the interviewer, and you’re pretty much guaranteed to get tripped up at some point.” Take time to really study the job description and your research to ask questions to demonstrate your interest. 


2.  Be yourself.  


Make sure you know your strengths, challenges, what you're passionate about. Take time to reflect on what your gifts, strengths, challenges, values, personality type, and preferences are.  Surprisingly, people really don't take time to be self-reflective. When you begin to realize what your own value is, you will recognize what you have to bring to the employment relationship also. 


3.  Be confident.  


People are drawn to others that ooze confidence.  It is perfectly okay to share what your challenges are.  When interviewing, often times applicant’s don’t want to disclose their weaknesses. It really comes from a place of confidence and strength to share areas you want to improve or where you may not be able to perform.  This is an opportunity to flip the weakness into a positive, check out these simple examples below provided by Alison Doyle.


I had difficulty with calculus during college, but I persevered with tutoring assistance and extra effort and completed 2 levels with a B minus average.

I used to like to work on one project to its completion before starting on another, but I've learned to work on many projects at the same time, and I think it allows me to be more creative and effective in each one.


I've learned to make my perfectionism work to my advantage. I have become proficient at meeting deadlines, and with my attention to detail, I know my work is accurate.


4.   Be a team player.


Not everything is about you. You may be asked to provide an example of a team project and how you contributed to the team. Be prepared to give examples that demonstrate how you led a team or were a supporting member. Employers (like partners) want to see you know how work together. 


5.  Be on time.


Do you like it when your date is late? Doesn’t make a good impression. Being on time means ten minutes early, not 5 minutes late or even at the exact time. A person that shows up 10 minutes early shows they value time. This makes a HUGE impression that you value time as a serious resource.  

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